Trek Wars
by hippiechick2112
Summary: A space rift in the Gamma Quadrant gathers together the many worlds now recruited to defeat an evil force intent on killing one person: James T. Kirk. Based on many movies and, of course, the two "Star" universes.
1. Gamma Quadrant Rift

**Trek Wars**

**Or: A New Force; A New World; A False Hope; An Uncertain Hope**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: This story is a spoof based on _Star Trek: the Original Series_, the original three _Star_ _Wars_ movies (Episodes 4, 5, and 6), the original three _Indiana Jones _movies, and the _Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail_. This is difficult to categorize on this site, so I'll stick with the title and go from there. So, the thanks would always go to the directors, writers, producers and actors/actresses of these movies and TV shows.**

**While I co-wrote this with my sister (who refuses on come to this site), I find it amusing to post this now, about seven years after it was published in our high school's magazine (and apologize for the short chapters, I'm trying to fix it). The original idea came from our uncle, who stayed up late one night with his friends and made up this story and song that came along with it (forgot what it was, it's been years since I've heard it). ****So, my final thanks would go to him and his drunk, university friends, who toasted such great characters of the last century.**

* * *

_Captain's Log, Stardate 9876.5: The __Enterprise__ is drifting into the Gamma Quadrant to recuperate from a serious aftermath. Everything is quiet now, without threat of attack, so this change of scenery is pleasant to myself, as well as the crew. The _Enterprise _was unexpectedly ambushed three days ago by the Romulans and we lost most of our systems. It will be quite some time before another starship can find us._

_In the meantime, the repairs on the _Enterprise _are going very slowly. We have some of the ship up and running again, but Scotty reports that we won't have enough power to get us to the nearest starbase for repairs for a few more days…_

"Sir, something has come up on the scanners," says Sulu. "The scanners report that it is not a ship or a meteor. Should we go around it?"

Suddenly, Chekhov interrupts Sulu. "Kaptain, the _Enterprise_ is getting closer and ve can't go around it! It is pulling us in!"

"Full reverse!" Kirk cried out, panicking inwardly.

"Captain, its pull is too strong. We will have to go through," Spock responds back calmly at his station.

With that, the _Enterprise_ and her crew were sucked into a mysterious space rift.

~00~

A dark, shadowed figure smiled as he watched the chaotic turn of events.

_The rift is working_, he thought. _All is going to plan. Now I'll get my revenge on James T. Kirk. Two down, one to go!_

~00~

When the lights came back up, Kirk got up immediately from his captain's chair, worried about his crew.

"Is everyone okay? Is everyone accounted for, Mr. Spock?" he asked everybody, the last to his Science/First Officer.

The intercom buzzed before Spock could give a logical explanation (or answer) and McCoy (bruised slightly, but grouchy, all the same) could complain. "Scott to Kirk."

Kirk immediately went over to the captain's chair and flipped a switch. "Kirk here."

"Sir, we have several strange people down in Engine Room 4. What would you like us to do with them?"

"I'll be down in a minute. Kirk out." He turned to Mr. Sulu. "Mr. Sulu, you have the con. Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy will come with me. Call me if there are any more problems."

"Aye, sir," Sulu replied, listening to the grumbling of the doctor and the acceptance of the Vulcan as they accompanied Kirk.


	2. Worlds Collide

"All right, Mr. Scott. Who's down…?"

As Kirk walked in with McCoy and Spock, he was interrupted by a wild growl and numerous shouts. Several members of the _Enterprise's_ security team were trying to lock up an over eight-foot tall hairy thing that was carrying a gun and the…animal's…companions were trying to stop them from getting their hairy monster from shooting.

While Spock looked on with a raised eyebrow (both Kirk and McCoy would swear that he was amused), Kirk took one good look at the giant, hairy creature. He then turned to McCoy, asking, "Bones, is that…female?"

"I don't even know what species it is!" McCoy retorted hotly, irritated by the scene already.

"That would be Chewbacca, the Wookie," a cool sounding voice responded before the good doctor could shot another sarcastic comment. "I'm Luke Skywalker. This is Princess Leia of the planet Alderaan, Captain Han Solo of the _Millennium Falcon_, my two droids R2-D2 and C-3PO, and Han Solo's friend, Lando Calrissian, from the Cloud City."

The man named Luke Skywalker paused after the introductions, continuing. "We don't know how we got here. We were battling Imperial Tie fighters from the Emperor's new battle station, the Death Star. Suddenly everything went black. When we could see again, the ship we were on, the _Millennium_ _Falcon_, was replaced by yours and we were trying to restrain your men from Chewbacca."

"And if you want to keep all of your limbs intact, you better let Chewie go," added Han Solo. This relieved the guards, happy that someone told them to stop trying to restrain a hairy thing named Chewbacca, gladly let go.

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the starship _Enterprise_," Kirk replied diplomatically, ignoring Han Solo's comment, already not liking him and his sardonic attitude. "My crew and I belong to Starfleet and the United Federation of Planets. We, too, experienced some of the same things that you did. We were drifting into the Gamma Quadrant when we were sucked into what looked like a black hole or some sort of —"

"A space rift," Spock interrupted, who never missed an opportunity to correct and use Vulcan logic and emotionless thoughts to remedy the situation. "Logic dictates to me that we are trapped in some sort of space rift created by something or someone very powerful, much more so than we all are."

"That sounds —" Kirk started.

"I don't care what logic dictates to you, Spock!" Bones interrupted Kirk, as well, quickly losing his temper. "I care about getting back to our correct dimensions, you pointy-eared, green-blooded —"

"All right, all right, _gentlemen_," Kirk interrupted McCoy just as quickly, wanting to diffuse the situation before it got too out of hand. "Calm down. We'll get to the bottom of this space rift idea. Let's go to Conference Room A. That includes all of you and…Chewbacca."

As they all were leaving with their guests, Kirk observed the group that had suddenly appeared in Scotty's Engine Room. He especially liked the good looks of the gorgeous Princess Leia. Brown hair bound in braids on the top of her head, Leia's brown eyes seemed to penetrate her opponents with deadly accuracy. Her weapon securely tucked away, she even looked the perfect picture of a maiden in need to attacking those endangering her.

Leia saw the look Kirk was giving her as she walked by and returned the look with a nasty glare, giving him her opinion of the starship captain. She, most certainly, had no need of another man who went after her.

~00~

Darth Vader opened his eyes, confused. He was in some forest someplace. But, how he got there seemed to be a mystery.

_Where am I? One minute I was shooting at rebels in my Tie fighter and the next I'm not anywhere near the Death Star. Now, I'm in this black armor that is definitely NOT the body suit that the Emperor gave me. I don't understand._

_Wait a minute…I've got an old-fashioned sword in my hands and I'm on a bridge made of wood. How am I breathing normally? Am I back to the body of Anakin Skywalker, the former prodigy of Obi Wan Kenobi? If so, then where is Padmè? What _is_ truly happening?_

_And, who's that guy in the crown, and why is that other guy next to him clapping those strange shells together? Why are they attacking me? By the Force, that queer fellow is attacking me! Where's my lightsaber?_

King Arthur, the man who was wearing the crown, suddenly assailed Vader after he rudely got no answer to his question about joining the group of knights at Camelot. He took his sword and chopped off Darth Vader's arms and legs before Vader could do anything, his reflexes too slow to react to the king.

~00~

The Shadowed One howled in anger. Vader wasn't supposed to die at all! The world of Kirk was supposed to go to Vader's and the Imperial troops to capture him and his crew as they came. Then, Vader was supposed to kill Kirk in an all-out battle on the Death Star as it was going up in flames!

_I guess I'll have to do it myself._ Sighing, he teleported down to the bridge where Vader's mangled body lay. His plans had just about changed.


	3. Conference Room Meeting

The group (including Chewbacca) went down to Conference Room A of the _Enterprise_ and sat down in the hard, curved seats in the room. Kirk claimed the head of the table, noting how calm and collective everybody was, including the nasty-faced Princess Leia of earlier. Everybody, after all, was searching for answers, and nobody knew why their worlds had suddenly collided with each other.

As Chewbacca struggled to fit into a chair obviously not made for Wookies, Kirk logged into the computer to summon all the information possible on the Gamma Quadrant. As the computer finished downloading the information, he skimmed through what the results were and turned to Spock. The Vulcan clearly had more information about the area than he did and, as Science Officer, could pass on vital facts.

The question had to be asked and Kirk knew it. "Could your space rift theory be possible? Is the Gamma Quadrant that unstable?"

"It's possible, Captain," Spock replied. "The Gamma Quadrant has been known for its unique instability in the past. There have been reports of missing starships, but Starfleet Command has denied any and all reports."

"Could someone create a rift large enough to teleport different people from total different dimensions?" Kirk then inquired, knitting his eyes into a concentrated squint, trying to read from the computer's screen and almost failing.

"That, too, is a logical assumption." Spock raised an eyebrow, deeply in thought (or, as mindful of the situation emotionally as Kirk can see).

"But, who would do that to us?" Luke asked quite innocently. "Who would be strong enough to do something like that?"

"Darth Vader," Leia answered darkly, causing an almost collective panic amongst the bots. C-3PO started to panic and babble on about Darth Vader and what Vader had done in the past. R2-D2 beeped loudly and whistled for a few seconds, transmitting his replies and lighting up his round-shaped body.

"You're right, R2," Luke interrupted, hearing R2-D2 over C-3PO's babbling. "It can't be Darth Vader. The Emperor may be powerful enough though." The last he suggested with an equally dark look.

"Who is Darth Vader? Why is he feared so much? What's the deal with this Emperor? Where is this Empire? What about that battle station, the Death Star, that you all mentioned? Could that battle station of yours have gotten through the rift as well?" McCoy was full of questions himself, having no idea what to think of all of the nonsense their visitors were talking about.

C-3PO stopped his babbling and started to answer the good doctor's questions. "Well, Sir, the Empire is —"

"These are very good questions that will be answered eventually, but we need to figure out who's behind this and get back to our correct dimensions," Kirk butted in finally, somehow knowing that if C-3PO started to talk, he would never shut up.

"But, how?" Han Solo chimed in. "We have no idea where to begin finding out who did it and why! And, without that, we can't go anywhere."

Suddenly, Mr. Sulu interrupted the conference. "Captain, Mr. Sulu reporting. We had Earth medieval knights, circa 800, roaming loose near Transporter Room 4, and they all seemed to be clapping with coconut shells. One of them is crowned and claims that he's Arthur, King of the Britons. He also demanded that we help him with some mission…something about a shrubbery and an odd group called the Knights of Ni. Security has stunned all of them and put them in the brig. We also confiscated their coconut shells for later examinations. We await further orders for the future of these people."

Kirk rose from his seat and walked over to the intercom on the wall, answering Sulu. "Keep them there for now. We'll need this Arthur in for questioning later. Stun them if they try anything funny or attempt an escape before I decide on what to do with them. Kirk out."

Kirk then turned back to the group sitting in the Conference Room. He didn't quite know how to finish the meeting, considering the new chain of events. Obviously, Spock was onto something when he mentioned something about a space rift and different worlds coming together…

"Well, ladies, gentlemen, and droids," Kirk began. Chewbacca growled at him loudly, so Kirk added as Chewbacca sat back down with a satisfying smile, "And Wookies. We have another problem on our hands. Spock, your theory on the space rift might be correct. If it is, we must prepare for whatever is out there."

Meeting adjourned, Kirk motioned the group to follow him to the bridge.


	4. Mission Help

Arthur, alone in his cell, woke up from the stun. He sat up and looked for his fellow knights. They were waking up, as well, and seemed okay. He suddenly grew angry because his noble knights were stuck in these funny-looking metal rooms without a way out. The bars on their prison cell weren't even of the same material, but a shiny light that seemed to keep itself in place. Arthur wanted to touch it, but thought better of it.

_Blasts! It might be deadly._

As a guard walked by, Arthur screamed obscene things at him. As the guard began to recharge his phaser to stun him, the Briton king finally yelled out, "Let me out or I'll bite your kneecaps off!"

The guard, getting tired of Arthur's shenanigans, hit the button to change the phaser to stun, and said, "Be quiet, you. The Captain himself will speak with you in a few minutes." He waved the phaser threateningly and continued. "You better not pull anything funny, like you just did now, or I'll —"

"Ensign Delmar, that will be enough," Captain Kirk interrupted as he and Lando finally walked in. "Bring him out. You may leave now, he can't harm me. When you set him up in the Interrogation Room, you may report to the bridge to see if Mr. Spock needs any help with the rest of our guests. He might also have some other errand for you."

Ensign Delmar grumbled, grudgingly yanked the prisoner out of the cell and non-too gently shoved him into a chair in the nearby Interrogation Room just down the hallway. Kirk and Lando followed him into the room, hoping to receive some more information from this King Arthur. However, just after the sullen Ensign left his charge with Kirk and Lando, a little green man appeared. He sat cross-legged midair and didn't seem to be sitting on the chair or even the table. He appeared to be floating.

Kirk walked in with Lando not far behind. He saw the strange man hovering above the table and asked, "Who are you?"

The little man giggled and replied, "Yoda I am. Jedi Master I was. _Enterprise_ captain you are." He then giggled again, like he was amused by Kirk's question and the answer he gave.

Lando heard the levitating man say that he was a Jedi Master and said, "I'll get Luke. He would know who this guy is." He left in a run.

Yoda continued on, not noticing that anyone had spoken or left. "The Force you need. Wants to fight you, the Dark One. Wants to fight Kirk, yes." He stopped his giggling and began to mumble to himself, with Kirk only catching bits of phrases here and there. "Couldn't defeat the Dark One, not Obi Wan. Died he did. Could possibly defeat him, yes. Maybe help him, the Force. Wants to fight starship captain, but he knows not the Force…"

After a few more moments of this sort of mumbling and repeating of phrases, Kirk interrupted. "Who is this Dark One? What exactly is a Jedi Master? What is this 'Force' that I need? Wait, where are you going?"

Yoda had stopped his mumbling, giggled at Kirk's questions, and vanished from the room. A moment after he had disappeared, however, footsteps echoed from the hallway, indicating that Luke was coming. He entered the room, breathless.

Without waiting to catch his breath, Luke asked Kirk, "Where is he?"

"He left," Kirk replied. "He mentioned something about a Dark One wanting to fight me, a person named Obi Wan who couldn't defeat this Dark One, and a being called the Force that might help me. Whatever it is, he said that he or it was not with me." Kirk paused, thinking. "The only other thing that he said that made any sense was that he was Yoda and that he was a Jedi Master."

Luke sighed as he tried to explain to Kirk the situation. "Yoda was a Jedi Master, a controller, if you will, of the Force. The Force is the energy all living things give off, whether it is good or bad. Jedi Masters use the Force to do many things. Now, Yoda taught many young Jedi, including myself. Obi Wan was another Jedi Master who started my training. The Dark One is Darth Vader." Luke then sat on the edge of the table and thought out loud. "Hmm, Yoda, a dead Jedi Master, comes back to give a message to a starship captain from another dimension, telling you that Vader wants to fight you. Why you?" He pounded the table with his fist, frustrated. "You know nothing about Jedi or the ways of the Force."

"We'll worry about the fight later. Where's Lando?" Kirk asked, hoping to talk to the dashing former mercenary some more.

"He's at the bridge. Chewie was annoying the pointy-eared man and getting in the way of everybody on the bridge, and, with Han still not back yet, Lando was the only one who could calm Chewbacca down." Luke's tone changed, and he began to muse. "I wonder where Han is. Maybe he's in a storage room making out with Leia."

Luke added the last part evilly, having noted the looks Kirk was giving Leia earlier. He knew that Leia would not tolerate the starship captain, so was not worried.

Kirk was about to reply something just as evil about Luke and Chewbacca, but Arthur interrupted them by coming out from under the examining table and saying as he shuddered, "Is he gone? The floating green man? He must be an agent of the killer rabbits. Have you ever seen one? I hope you haven't."

Kirk, remembering the real reason why he had come down here, got back into his stern captain mode, vowing to get back at Luke for the comment later. For the next few minutes, he gently reassured Arthur that he had never seen a killer rabbit and that the green floating man was not their agent. Indeed, Kirk was still confused about what Yoda was talking about, but was starting to understand the world Luke lived in.

When the man was calm enough, Kirk began his interrogation by first asking, "Who are you and what is this mission you need help with?"

Arthur, hearing Kirk asking about his mission and what sounded like an offer for assistance, responded, "I am Arthur, King of the Britons, and the only son of Uther Pendragon. In these metal cages and bright lights are my brave and noble Knights of the Round Table. Our real mission is to find the Holy Grail, but, before we can achieve that mission's end, we must find a shrubbery for the Knights of Ni."

Suddenly, Arthur's face began to crumple in fear at the name of that horrid group with that always says that dreaded word. He continued on regardless, albeit a tad shockingly, when he saw the coconut shells lying on the other end of the table, as if the coconut shells reminded him that he was still a king and that his knights were trapped. Ensign Delmar seemed to have ensured that, Kirk figured.

"Thank Tim the Enchanter that we lived long enough to tell the tale. Pray, good Sir, whatever you decide though, do not send us back to Camelot, for it is a silly place," King Arthur of the Britons added as a last thought, knowing Kirk was the leader of this weird looking place.

Kirk realized that Arthur, although he was a legend from a schoolbook, was just another one affected by the dimension change. The tale of Arthur's search for the Holy Grail checked out with the one he knew (as well as twentieth century silliness he remembered). He let his security guards release the trapped knights, gave them back their coconut shells, and allowed Arthur and his knights access to the V.I.P. cabins.


	5. Hailing the Death Star

As Kirk watched the knights were riding down the hall with their coconut shells to their special quarters, Spock's voice echoed in the brig. "Captain!"

Kirk, hearing the voice from the intercom in the Interrogation Room, ran to catch it and pushed the button to talk. "Kirk here."

"Captain, sensors are picking up what appears to be a small moon. It is now coming in range of the viewers." Gasps could be heard over the intercom from the other people on the bridge. Despite that, Spock continued after consulting the new readings. "However, Captain, logic dictates to me, however, that small moons are not made up of Titanium and Aluminum alloys. I think that the rift has finally ended or shifted once more. We may have wound up in the dimension with the Empire and its Death Star."

"It _is_ the Death Star!" said C-3PO in the background when he recognized what was on the screen. He wandered near the intercom behind Spock and began to babble nervously again, unaware that he was creating a larger distraction.

Uhura luckily interrupted C-3PO before he got too far into his ranting. "Captain, there's a message for you. It appears to have come from that battle station."

As someone from the bridge moved C-3PO away from the intercom, Kirk replied, "I'll be up there as soon as I can. Put all shields up, maximum. Go to red alert. Spock, gather as much information as you can on this Death Star. Kirk out."

Kirk turned to Luke as the Klaxon bells went off. "Let's go!"

~00~

When Kirk and Luke reached the bridge, they met a tense-looking crew awaiting their captain to give them commands. While Luke went over to Lando, the droids, and Chewbacca (Han Solo and Princess Leia still missing), Kirk sat down in his captain's chair and barked out, "Mr. Spock, report!"

"Captain, it seems that the Death Star was built by the Empire, which Mr. Lando told me about." Lando looked abashed at being called mister. Regardless, Spock continued on without noticing Lando's embarrassment. "He stated that the Emperor, a man who used something called the Force and enormous support to destroy the Republic and erect the Empire, ordered the building of this station. This battle station has the capability of destroying whole planets and civilizations with ease."

"Someone powerful is on board that ship. It doesn't feel like Darth Vader or the Emperor, though," Luke stated quietly as he stared at the ship that was floating closer and closer on the screen.

No one heard his comment and, if anyone had, they never responded. It was as if they were either in denial themselves or chose not to listen to someone from another world.

Kirk turned to Uhura after Spock completed his report and said, "Play the message. Let's see what the Empire wants."

Uhura flicked a couple of blinking switches on her console, and the unmistakable, raspy voice of Darth Vader boomed out on the speakers. The message stated: "To the captain of this ship: onboard your vessel are the leaders of a rebellion against the Empire and everything that the Emperor Palpatine has constructed. They need to be handed over to me, and I want you to personally escort them here. If not, you will face certain annihilation of your ship and crew. I'll give you one hour to decide."

A computed voice then took over and stated that the message was approved by the Emperor. Finally, there was silence.

Kirk asked Uhura to play the message again and listened to it twice more. Then he asked his officers and the rebel leaders the inevitable question without a moment's thought just yet: "Should we do what Vader says?"

"It's a trap," Luke responded immediately. "Remember what Yoda said to you about the Dark One wanting to fight you. Besides, why does he need you to personally escort us anywhere? He could just have us teleported to him."

"Luke is right, Kirk. Vader may want us, but you heard what that Jedi Master said," agreed Lando. Chewbacca growled. "That's right, Chewie. Kirk isn't the only one who's in danger if the Empire gets its way. We _all_ are."

Kirk nodded in agreement with all of the statements. "I agree with all that was said, but what if we don't go? Then, we all die without that fighting chance. We lose no matter what we do."

There was a moment of awkward silence and then Spock spoke up. "It is a captain's prerogative to decide what happens to the ship, its crew and anyone or anything that's onboard in an emergency without access to Starfleet."

Kirk nodded in agreement with that statement as well, but said nothing to respond to any of the comments. He knew what his mission was. He just needed to make a clear decision without anyone being in danger…

After a few moments of silent debate, Kirk made a decision. "Uhura, hail Vader. Tell him that as soon as the Transporter Room is ready, we'll beam over to the Death Star the people he wants. Ask for the exact coordinates."

He then turned to Spock to give him the final orders. "Spock, I want you to take command if I don't return to the _Enterprise_. Take the ship far from here. If the rift changes back to our dimension, then contact Starfleet Command and report fully. Inform them of the situation in the Gamma Quadrant and all that has happened. Everything that was said and done today by these fine people, bots and Wookies has been recorded on tape. Give the tape to Admiral Clearwater. She'll handle it from there."

With that, Kirk left the bridge with the Rebel Alliance members behind them. All that was left, before going down to the Death Star, was to find Han Solo and Princess Leia…wherever they could be.

~00~

As everyone was in the elevator to the Transporter Room, Kirk did mention an idea to the group. "Chewie and Lando, round up King Arthur and his knights. We'll cause some chaos before Vader can take us fully."

Kirk finished with a naughty smile and a bright glint in his eye. If Vader wanted a fight, he was going to give it to him.

~00~

The Shadowed One, posing as Darth Vader, received the message from Kirk five minutes before the hour was up. Upon hearing the answer, he immediately called the head Imperial Stormtrooper on duty to his room, saying, "Send the coordinates of the main Audience Room to that ship and then bring a contingent of guards with you to that room. We'll be having the Rebel Alliance leaders onboard. By the next hour's end, the leaders will be dead, and the Rebellion crushed."

The guard saluted the man dressed as Darth Vader and left the room to carry out his new orders.


	6. Vader and Kirk

As soon as everyone materialized in the Audience Room of the Death Star (save for Arthur and his knights), the guards began to move in. Darth Vader, standing in a shadowy corner of the room, waved a gloved hand to stop them. The guards stopped just short of entering the lighted areas. Their secret was still safe within the darkness.

Kirk, when he had finished materializing, looked around and saw the second party land, as well, knowing that the third will be around shortly. However, at the same time, he didn't notice anyone around, no guards or anything. He wasn't quite sure what to do next.

"Where are you, Vader?" he then shouted. "Come out here. We have the people you want."

As Kirk yelled this, Vader raised his arm signal the start of the arrests, motioning that Kirk still be left for him. The guards rushed over, but stopped short when they saw the unexpected group of knights suddenly materializing before them and brandishing swords. Lonely Patsy (Arthur's right-hand) was even there with his coconut shells, giving them a threatening glare.

After a moment's hesitation, they fired right as Arthur and his knights charged. Then the chaos started, and everyone who wasn't fighting ducked or hid. This was exactly what Kirk wanted, and, so far, it was working. As of yet, Darth Vader hadn't made an appearance, but Kirk wanted it that way for the time being. It was better to get his pawns out of the way before going head-to-head with him.

The fight went on for a few minutes and eventually it shifted out into the hallway, where more Imperial Stormtroopers were coming in. Han Solo, who was sneaking up from behind them (hiding this way and that to avoid detection), followed the guards to start a kamikaze attack to stop them from killing Leia, Luke, Lando and Chewie. At the same time, the foursome was shooting at the extra guards, the bots hiding behind various poles. Even Arthur and his knights pushed forward, attacking as they went.

Soon, though, the only ones left in the room were Kirk and Darth Vader.


	7. A Lightsaber, After All

**This is the third chapter that I posted today. So, please, make sure you read the previous two before this one. Thank you for reading! Please review!**

* * *

Vader came out of his corner, seeing the room empty of everyone, except his quarry. The game, for him, had just begun. Kirk's destiny was about to be fulfilled.

"So, you are Kirk," he rasped out.

However, before anything else could be said or responded to, Han Solo staggered back into the room, wounded from his surprise attacks on the Stormtroopers. He was clearly overwhelmed by the number of guards and the failed kamikaze attack. He fell into a shadowy corner and did not reappear.

Vader paid no attention to Han Solo's somewhat drunken entrance, if he had even noticed it, and continued. "I have the one person standing in the way of my quest for complete domination of all of the worlds! You cannot stop me now, Kirk!"

Confused by Vader's statement about him, Kirk asked him, "Why do you want me? I don't even know you or your ways."

Vader just stood there and laughed as well as he could. _Kirk obviously knows nothing of these plans!_

Kirk was about to puzzle it out when Han Solo reentered, except it wasn't exactly Han Solo. The man Kirk knew as Han Solo had disappeared and someone named Indiana Jones (as he introduced himself to both present in the room) had taken his place. It was a minor distraction to both battling by their wits, but Kirk was relieved to see the man side with him.

Vader, in the meantime, was tired of waiting for Kirk to stupidly figure out what was happening. He flicked on his lightsaber and made for Kirk. Indiana Jones, who saw the movement, yelled, "Watch out, Kirk!"

Kirk ran and ducked beneath some pipes, as Darth Vader sliced the air where Kirk was and sent sparks flying as the lightsaber hit the pipes. Jones then tossed him Luke's dropped, forgotten lightsaber. Kirk, trying not to think of what happened to the lightsaber's previous owner, flicked it on and blocked Vader's next attack with skill.

For what seemed like an hour (Jones not being a help), the two battled it out with the lightsabers, with no one having a clear advantage over the other. Finally, Vader knocked away Kirk's borrowed lightsaber, which fell down the depths of the multi-leveled center of the Death Star. He even kicked Kirk into a corner where he couldn't escape, seeing the clear advantage: anytime, the captain could slip down, along with the lightsaber, to his death.

Kirk looked for someone, anyone, from the group to help him. The much-hated Han Solo would have been fine, but even the newly transformed Indiana Jones had abandoned Kirk. _Nobody_ was in sight. After the Stormtroopers extras came in, the "rebels", their bots and even Arthur and his knights vanished into thin air.

Vader finally spoke to Kirk for the first time since the duel had started with Han Solo/Indiana Jones' warning and lightsaber toss. As Kirk looked to him and the long trip down, he said to the depressed captain, "I will reveal myself to you now, you ignorant man. Then, you'll remember who I am and why these worlds have come together for me."

The Shadowed One removed the cumbersome helmet of Darth Vader and stepped into the light. It was none other than Kirk's arch-nemesis (thought to be exiled on Ceti Alpha V still), Khan.

Stunned, Kirk couldn't respond, until Khan told him something that he thought could not be imagined. "Kirk, I am your father."

Kirk screamed he Khan kicked him, sending him flying down through the levels of the dreaded Death Star. "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

~00~

Kirk woke up in a sweat, sore from perhaps the exercise he remembered doing with McCoy the previous day. He sat up and looked around. He was in his bedroom in the captain's quarters on the _Enterprise_, all right. There was no Death Star within sight, as far as he knew (unless Spock paged him and he missed it). There was no fight to the death with Darth Vader, who was really Khan. There was no beautiful princess named Leia or a hated rival named Han Solo.

_Or was it Indiana Jones?_ Kirk thought, shaking his head, while trying to remember through the hazy cobwebs of sleep. No, no, there was no Han Solo or Indiana Jones or a hairy boy (girl?) named Chewbacca.

_Best of all_, he continued to think, _Khan _isn't _my father!_

Kirk got up from his bed, filled a bowl of water from his washroom and put it on the sink. He then splashed some cool water on his face. Returning to his bed to turn on the light, Kirk reached over his nightstand, to read some papers to help him fall back asleep.

That was when he stumbled across Luke's lost lightsaber.


End file.
